"Guess who?"
A young and stupid pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies.
So, this one time he was approaching a field during the night time.
Instead of making any official requests to the tower, he said: "Guess who?"
The controller switched the field lights off and replied: "Guess where!"
BLACK BOX
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced " Please prepare for a crash landing ".
The first lady put on all her jewelry . Surprised by this the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, well when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first.
The second lady not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well when they come to rescue us they will see my great tits and will take me first.
The third lady who was African not wanting to be out done took off her pants and panties.
Why are you doing that the other ladies questioned, well they always search for the black box first
Cancel the good morning!
Pilot: "Good morning, Frankfurt ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back, please."
Tower: "KLM 242 expect start up in two hours."
Pilot: "Please confirm: two hours delay?"
Tower: "Affirmative."
Pilot: "In that case, cancel the good morning!"
Furious ground controller (a female)
The crew of a US airliner made a wrong turn during taxi and came nose to nose with another aircraft, the furious ground controller (a female) screamed:
"[Callsign] where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxiway; you turned right on 'Delta'. Stop right there"
Continuing her verbal lashing of the embarrassed crew, she shouted: "You've screwed everything up. It'll take forever to sort this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you. You got that?"
Naturally, the frequency went very quiet until an unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked: "Wasn't I married to you once?"
New co-pilot Welcome!!!
A welcome to a new co-pilot from an old captain:
Son, your wife's legs have more time in the air than you do.
:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Ready for a quickie ?
True conversation heard at Hannover Airport.
The young woman in Tower has recently finished her training and is still not completely at ease. BA XXX is at holding position runway 09R. Another aircraft is doing approach procedures for a landing on the same runway. Tower wishes to expedite take-off for BA XXX:
Tower: BA XXX, are you ready for a quickie ?
BA XXX: Lady, I'm always ready for a quickie, but first I have to fly this plane to Helsinki !
Να σου τα δαγκώσω λίγο..?
Ένας τύπος βλέπει στο δρόμο μια γυναίκα με τα τελειότερα στήθη στο κόσμο.
Τρελαίνεται ο τύπος οπότε την παίρνει απο πίσω. Δεν αντέχει όμως, την σταματάει και της λέει:
- Αν με αφήσετε να δαγκώσω τα στήθη σας θα σας δώσω 1000 ευρώ
- Τι λες ρε φίλε, απαντά η άλλη, για ποια με πέρασες? και φεύγει
Ο τύπος δεν το βάζει κάτω, πιο πέρα την ξανασταματά:
- Αν με αφήσετε να δαγκώσω τα στήθη σας θα σας δώσω 10.000 ευρώ
- Aκου, του λέει, αν δεν με παρατήσεις ήσυχη θα φωνάξω την αστυνομία.
Ο τύπος συνεχίζει όμως, παραπέρα την ξανασταματά:
- Αν με αφήσετε να δαγκώσω τα στήθη σας θα σας δώσω 100.000 ευρώ.
Η τύπισσα αρχίζει να το σκέφτεται, είναι πολλά τα λεφτά, δεν θα μας
γαμήσει κιόλας και του απαντά:
- Αν και δεν είμαι απο εκείνες, δέχομαι την πρότασή σου. . ..
Οπότε,πάνε κάπου παράμερα, σηκώνει την μπλούζα της και ο τύπος πραγματικά τρελαίνεται. Τα τελειότερα βυζιά του κόσμου βρίσκονται στην διάθεσή του.
Αρχίζει λοιπόν να τα ζουλά, να τα τραβά, να τα χαϊδεύει, να τα φιλά, να τα γλύφει, να τρίβει την μούρη του πάνω τους και γενικά να κάνει ό,τι μπορείτε να φανταστείτε, αλλά,.... δεν τα δαγκώνει.
Η γκόμενα αρχίζει να βαριέται οπότε του λέει
- Τι θα γίνει θα τα δαγκώσεις να τελειώνουμε?
Και κείνος απαντά:
- Μπα, άσε. Κοστίζει ένα σωρό λεφτά!